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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538422">A Recurring Lesson of Learning New Skills</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti'>lionessvalenti</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Asgard (Marvel), M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:21:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has been wasting away in prison for three years. Bucky needs to go off-world to protect himself from HYDRA. Perhaps they can solve both of these issues with one arrangement.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Just Married Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Recurring Lesson of Learning New Skills</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/gifts">Nununununu</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loki had hardly counted the days of his imprisonment. Time seemed to pass differently deep underground in his cell. He was fine forgetting the time and allowing his mind to drift. There were so many things to think about. Plans for escape, what to do upon escape, who to kill, what to conquer, or simply places to rest with the delicious view.</p><p>Though he knew it had been years since Thor had graced Loki with his presence. </p><p>"And here I thought you'd forgotten me, brother." Loki didn't look up from his book. It had been a long time, but he could still recognize the sound of Thor's cumbersome gait.</p><p>"One never forgets their troubles," Thor replied. "We need to speak."</p><p>"Have you come to apologize?" Now, Loki put down his book and took an interest in Thor's presence. He expected no such apology, as even he wasn't sure what Thor would be apologizing for, but it seemed the easiest way to get under his brother's skin. "In which case, I will hear your case and make a swift judgment not to accept."</p><p>Sadly, Thor did not fall for the bait. He looked the same as he had the last time Loki had seen him, years earlier, except for longer hair and the grave expression on his face. "Are you quite finished?"</p><p>"You seem tired." Loki straightened his back as he approached the thin barrier that separated him from the rest of the world. "Has someone died?"</p><p>The only person he cared about was Frigga, and while she had only visited him three days earlier, a lot could happen in three days. It was enough to form a pit in his stomach.</p><p>"No," Thor replied to Loki's relief. "Someone is alive, in fact. A friend of Captain Rogers has surfaced and he is in need of Asgard's protection."</p><p>"Oh good, what Asgard needs: another bumbling blond fool," Loki said, rolling his eyes. "Why did you come all this way to tell me of this uneventful news?"</p><p>Thor offered a tight smile. His patience with Loki was growing thin. "As you may know, Asgard doesn't take kindly to outsiders--"</p><p>"Unless they were stolen from their homeworld as an infant and lied to for a thousand years."</p><p>"Yes, other than that," Thor said dismissively. "We don't have laws about this sort of thing as it has never been done, and what Sergeant Barnes needs is a permanent place to reside. Midgard is no longer safe for him. The alliances we make, we've always made through marriage."</p><p>Loki wasn't sure what any of this had to do with him. What did he care if some human lived among his people while he rotted away in his cell?</p><p>"It was Mother who suggested you as an option for the marriage," Thor continued.</p><p>"Me? The exterminator of humans?" Loki actually took a step back. It made sense, at least, as to why Thor was giving him this information now, but that didn't make it any less surprising.</p><p>"No one calls you that."</p><p>"Is that not how they see me?" He wasn't sure if he wanted that or not.</p><p>"I don't believe Asgard cares to think of you at all," Thor replied. He paused for a dramatic effect of letting those words sink in, but Loki refused to give him the satisfaction so he kept his expression neutral. Thor continued, "Mother cares for your well being. She has concerns for your mental state staying in this cell, and has suggested that, in the long term, a cause for limited access may be preferable."</p><p>"Limited access?" Loki repeated.</p><p>"You would be allowed access to the palace and the grounds. The palace sorcerers are already working on creating a barrier tuned specifically to you, not unlike the walls of this prison."</p><p>"I'll do it." There wasn't any reason not to. Stay in this cell for the rest of eternity? At least with this, he would have some freedom. He could move around, hide if he so wished. The price of a husband he could ignore was minimal in comparison. </p><p>Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Very well. You'll be retrieved when the time comes."</p><p>"Very well," Loki echoed back to him.</p><p>Thor left and Loki retreated back to his bed. His book was no longer of interest. Soon, he would be able to simply go to the library for any book he so desired. More importantly, any plan he could conceive for escape from Asgard was foiled by, after so many years, not being able to penetrate the cell walls. The palace sorcerers were no match for his abilities. Even if it took another year, Loki could escape their barrier, he was certain of it.</p><p>He <i>would</i> escape. Fire built up beneath his skin in a way it hadn't in such a long time. There were a thousand new plans to consider. He would no longer be a prisoner of Asgard.</p>
<hr/><p>James Barnes was not what Loki had expected. </p><p>The little Loki had thought of him, he had imagined another version of Captain America: blond and dull with a self righteous streak. It was easy to be dismissive of someone not so different from Thor, but mortal and maybe even more annoying.</p><p>Instead, Barnes had long dark hair, and he seemed to be taking in the exits to every room he entered, blocking himself in a way that he could see every going on. He was attentive when spoken to by Thor, nodding to the words said to him. He seemed to say very little in response. Most curiously he wore a black glove over one hand, but not the other. The rest of his clothes were clearly given to him, standard wedding attire for a commoner: a tunic belted over trousers in a cream color. The collar was decorated with embroidered flowers. </p><p>"It's so good to see you face to face, darling," Frigga said, clasping her hands over Loki's. "I'm glad you agreed to this."</p><p>"Thank you for suggesting it," Loki replied. He gave the shackles at his wrists a jangle. It was ridiculous he was dressed for a wedding, his clothes finer than what Barnes was wearing, as per his station, and was escorted to the main floor wearing manacles. "Are these still necessary? No one imagines their bonding day in literal bondage."</p><p>"Of course not. I'll have them removed." Frigga made a simple hand motion to someone across the room. While they waited for someone to arrive with a key, she gave his arm a squeeze. "I do hope you'll treat this as an opportunity. The line is <i>very</i> thin with your father--"</p><p>"He's not my father." The words slipped out automatically. He was hardly even aware he'd said them.</p><p>Frigga reached up and touched her warm hand to Loki's cheek. "Am I not your mother?"</p><p>He hesitated. It was easy to deny Odin. The stronger Loki became, the more Odin favored Thor. He was afraid of the power, Loki knew this now, but it didn't take away the years of feeling inferior. Frigga, conversely, had always <i>seen</i> him.</p><p>"No," he said, though his voice was hoarse.</p><p>Frigga smiled sadly as she pulled her hand away. "You still feel like my son."</p><p>Loki smiled too. He had no other example of what a mother could be, so of course she felt like his mother. "We must separate emotions from facts."</p><p>"You've never been able to separate your emotions from anything." She didn't have a chance to say anything else on the matter as the aid with the key to Loki's shackles appeared. He unlocked the cuffs and took them away. Frigga smiled. "Good. Would you like to go meet Sergeant Barnes?"</p><p>"No. It makes no difference if we meet now or later." Loki peered over at Barnes again, only to find Barnes looking at him. His expression was stoic, but his eyes were bright and observant. After a few seconds of surveying each other, Barnes smiled. It was a small upturn of one corner of his mouth, but distinctly a smile.</p><p>Loki looked away.</p><p>"He's handsome, don't you think?" Frigga asked. Now that Loki's hands were free, she linked her arm with his. They began to walk toward where everyone else in the room was congregated.</p><p>"It hardly matters, does it not? He could be covered in boils and I'd still have to marry him." Loki pointedly didn't look at Barnes again. His face was unimportant.</p><p>"Well, I suppose, but having a nice face to look upon in the morning will be an added gift."</p><p>"The only gift I'm to receive."</p>
<hr/><p>The wedding only lasted two hours. A traditional Asgardian wedding was at least six hours long, though it seemed to be just as well. Barnes got fidgety after the first hour, and seemed to be expecting each step to be the last and was surprised that there was <i>more</i>. He was blissfully unaware that their shortened ceremony was a slight against them. Why waste any more time than necessary on a Midgardian and a shameful son?</p><p>There was no feast to follow (those could last up to a fortnight for royals, but Loki wasn't bitter), though they did sit down to dinner. Loki couldn't remember the last time he shared a table with Odin or Thor. No one spoke, despite Frigga's attempts at civil conversation. When Barnes called her "ma'am," she insisted he call her by her name -- or mother, if he preferred. He only called her ma'am again, and she didn't remind him a second time.</p><p>"Your suite is in the south tower," Frigga said to Loki after the dinner was gratefully finished. "I've had your things sent there, as with Sergeant Barnes' personal effects."</p><p>A suite was appropriate for a married couple, but the royal tower was in the north. Loki had been all but banished in his own childhood home. He tried not to let his surprise show on his face. It wasn't the worst place to be sent. The south tower overlooked the gardens and had a lovely view of the night sky, even so far as to be topped with the observatory, but it was intended for guests, not members of the household.</p><p>"That is fine," Loki said. It had been a long day on his best behavior and he was tired. If he stayed much longer, his tongue might loosen and snipe too hard at Thor and end up right back in his cell. A private room was a considerably better option.</p><p>He leaned forward and kissed Frigga on the cheek. "Thank you for making this day evening moderately bearable."</p><p>"You've thanked me twice today, Loki. That might be a record." She gave him a teasing smile.</p><p>"I've always been grateful to you."</p><p>"But you've rarely said so. I do appreciate it."</p><p>He ignored Odin and Thor in his farewells, but hesitated when he saw Barnes standing awkwardly by the door. He raised his eyes from the floor, gaze level with Loki, pleading.</p><p>They had barely looked at each other during the ceremony unless eye contact had been required. The same went for touching. Thankfully, the ceremonial hair-braiding and kissing had been cut from the proceedings. Loki supposed he would have to deal with Barnes now.</p><p>"I don't know where to go," Barnes said as Loki approached him.</p><p>"How long have you been on Asgard?" Loki asked, unmoving.</p><p>"Since this morning." He smiled, which seemed strange to Loki. This was a man who had been chased from his entire planet and forced into marriage for the privilege of protection. How could any of this make him smile? "It's been a long day."</p><p>"That it has. Follow me."</p><p>The suite was adequate, not noticeably small, even if tucked out of the way. It was furnished with two oversized chairs (one of them was from Loki's room in the north tower, thank you again, Frigga), a large settee, and a table for taking breakfast or tea. There was a floor to ceiling bookshelf on either side of the fireplace, each filled completely. It was perfectly appropriate, yet Barnes looked around with awe.</p><p>"This is bigger than the last three apartments I lived in combined," he said, gaze set on the crown molding along the ceiling. "I knew I was going to be living in a palace, but this is only one the first room. It's wild."</p><p>Loki moved into the bedroom, and stopped in his tracks once he opened the door. There was only one large bed. It was certainly big enough for the both of them, with plenty of room to spare, but it was the principle of the matter.</p><p>"What's the... oh." Barnes came into the room behind Loki. "I guess we'll have to share."</p><p>"You would think, considering the circumstances, more appropriate accommodations would have been made," Loki said. "If we aren't to have separate rooms, at least separate beds."</p><p>Why <i>didn't</i> they have separate rooms? If it was to keep up appearances, they probably would have started with a room in the dungeon.</p><p>"We'll make do," Barnes said and continued into the bedroom. He removed the jacket he was wearing and peeled off the black glove, revealing a shiny metal hand. When he caught Loki looking, he pushed up his left sleeve to show off more metal. "It's the whole arm. I try to keep it covered when I know I'm going to be around a lot of strangers. I guess you're a stranger, but not for long."</p><p>Loki wanted to tell Barnes how easy it would be to slit his throat while he slept. He could twist Barnes' mind to be bent to Loki's will at any point, and Barnes would be helpless to resist. Barnes was a <i>human</i> and Loki was something greater, something more. Barnes should be wary of resting in this room, in a shared bed with a killer.</p><p>The speech was on the tip of his tongue, when he realized that this was why they weren't in separate rooms. Barnes was meant to keep an eye on Loki. He was probably reporting back to Thor or Odin on any of Loki's violent tendencies. He thought back to Barnes' nodding along to Thor's words before the wedding. Instructions, surely.</p><p>"Did you want to be married to me?" Loki asked instead. </p><p>Barnes seemed surprised by the question. "Uh... I didn't think that was going to be a requirement to stay here, but since it is, I still took it. Obviously. I need this. I wasn't just putting myself in danger, I could live with that, but my friends were in danger because of me. I was putting targets on people's backs just from being there. Take me out, they're going to be safer for it."</p><p>That was all a bunch of self sacrificial nonsense that Loki had no interest in. "You seem to be taking all of this in stride."</p><p>"I've learned to take things as they come," Barnes replied. "I traveled by <i>rainbow</i> this morning, got married to an alien prince, and had dinner with a king. Sharing a bed is hardly the weirdest thing to happen all day."</p><p>"And you know of me, of course."</p><p>Barnes nodded. "I saw the footage from New York, and I got an earful or two from Steve. But I've done some shitty things too. That's what got me here, and your shit got you here, so we're starting at the same place. Except you have a hand up since this isn't all overwhelming as hell for you. I was too nervous to say anything all day because I was afraid of it being wrong. Maybe you could show me around tomorrow."</p><p>Loki's right eye twitched. Was Barnes trying to be <i>friendly?</i> To appease him with flattery? His mind games wouldn't work. "Perhaps Thor would be a better guide."</p><p>There was a pause, and then Barnes nodded. "I'll ask him."</p><p>Barnes began to unpack in silence. He only had one bag, barely larger than a knapsack. He didn't need to bring much from Midgard, as things like clothing and personal items would be supplied, but were his personal items so few? Loki had two large trunks off to the side that he would need to go through.</p><p>He emptied the bag, carefully laying each item out onto the bed. He seemed to have claimed the left side of the bed, the one nearest to the window, for himself. His personal effects were made up of a knitted cardigan, two pairs of denim trousers, a strange looking hat with a long brim, a thick book with a blank leather cover, and a package of a dozen pens.</p><p>"Did you think we have no ink on Asgard?" Loki asked.</p><p>Barnes seemed startled that Loki was still paying attention to him. "I thought you wouldn't have a regular ballpoint. I've been keeping a journal for a while and I didn't want to get out of the habit." He picked up the book and put it in the top drawer of his bedside table with the pens.</p><p>A journal? And not even an attempt to hide it? Did Barnes think Loki would keep out of his own accord? Let him be foolish for as long as possible.</p><p>"You can learn to use a quill, it's not as if it's difficult," Loki said. " Though I've always preferred a glass pen. I can control the lines easier."</p><p>Barnes smiled, but appeared surprised at Loki's comment. "I'll keep that in mind."</p><p>Loki didn't want to open his trunks while Barnes was around; that would have to wait until morning. It wasn't quite dark yet, but Loki declared he was going to retire for the evening. He disappeared into the bathroom to change out of his clothes and into a nightshirt. There wasn't any reason for privacy except the nature of having privacy in itself.</p><p>When he returned, Barnes was already in bed, turned away from the bathroom door. By the visible bare shoulder, he wasn't wearing a shirt. Loki couldn't see any remnant of the metal arm as Barnes was laying on his left side.</p><p>Barnes was a problem Loki could deal with later. Tonight, he was going to enjoy sleeping in his own room, without the snores of prisoners from other cells.</p><p>He dimmed the last lantern and crawled into bed, careful to stay as close to the edge as possible, and fell into possibly the most blissful sleep of his entire life.</p>
<hr/><p>It took a few days for Loki to get his bearings around the palace again. It was very clear that this was no longer meant to be a space for him. People would turn and walk in another direction when they saw him in the halls, or they stared as he passed. He took to hiding in some of the least occupied places, in the corners of the library or the observatory.</p><p>After being able to ignore them by staying indoors, he was stopped by the Warriors Three the first time he walked outside. Not surprisingly, he was threatened with death if he stepped out of line.</p><p>"Naturally," Loki replied, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"Not everyone agrees this was a good idea," Volstagg said. His hand was on the hilt of his sword.</p><p>"Most people do not," Fandral added. "But we are at the mercy of the Allfather's decisions."</p><p>"Aren't we all," Loki said dryly. "Don't worry, boys. I am no longer your concern. I have a husband for that now."</p><p>"Husband or not, we have sworn an oath to protect Asgard and the Nine Realms," Hogan said. "If you come between us and that oath, we will not choose you."</p><p>Loki smiled. "Nor did I ever expect you to. I could make you a thousand promises and you would believe none of them, so this performance of yours gives you no peace, nor does it make any difference, as I have no plans to even toe the lie. Not that saying so will help."</p><p>"We'll have our eyes on you," Volstagg said as the three of them continued their path past Loki with such indignant purpose Loki nearly laughed. For a performance, it was breathtaking.</p><p>Fandral paused just past Loki, and in a low voice said, "Speaking of your husband, I saw him in the training field with Thor this morning. They were working up quite the sweat."</p><p>"If you mean to make me jealous, you may try something I have actual interest in," Loki replied in an equally hushed tone.</p><p>"We traveled yesterday to Vanaheim. When was the last time you traveled? Oh. Right." With that, Fandral started moving again to catch up with the others.</p><p>It was a well played taunt, Loki had to give him that much credit. Where the palace had felt initially like a much grander prison than his cell, it was still, in fact, a prison. Instead of taking his walk, Loki went back inside and to the library. It was pure coincidence that one of the windows overlooked the training courtyard, though when he casually peered out, there was no sign of Barnes or Thor.</p><p>Not that he cared.</p><p>He didn't see Barnes until that evening. He was dressed for dinner, in a cream colored silk shirt with an open collar, though he'd paired it with his ridiculous denim trousers. He no longer wore the glove over his metal hand around the palace.</p><p>"Did you have a good time training?" Loki asked as they walked together toward the dining hall. It was merely a coincidence of timing that they were moving in the same direction.</p><p>Barnes looked surprised, though that might have been because Loki hadn't spoken more than two words to him at any given time since their wedding night. "Yeah, it seems like something I can do to fill my time. I wasn't sure what I was going to do here, and... maybe I can be a warrior."</p><p>Loki raised his eyebrows. "Was defending Asgard part of your agreement for protection?"</p><p>"No, but I am part of this now. That was part of the agreement."</p><p>"That's a lot to offer for being among us a week."</p><p>Barnes shrugged. "I'm not going into battle tomorrow. I like to learn. And I like to be useful."</p><p>"They will not appreciate you," Loki said. "The soldiers of Asgard are disposable."</p><p>"All soldiers are," he replied as they entered the dining hall. "Doesn't mean there aren't things worth fighting for."</p><p>"The only thing worth fighting for is yourself." </p><p>Barnes smiled as if he expected Loki to say that. "Fighting for something bigger is fighting for yourself."</p><p>"That sounds like a justification for dying," Loki said. He came to a stop a few strides from the table, where no else was currently seated. If he was very lucky, Odin would excuse himself from dinner again. He hadn't dined with them since the wedding.</p><p>"I died once and it hasn't stopped me yet," Barnes replied.</p><p>Loki didn't believe him, of course. He was Midgardian and obtained no magic. But he said it so casually, it made Loki smile. "Only once? Amatuer."</p><p>Barnes laughed. "I'll try harder."</p><p>They ate dinner with Frigga and Thor, and throughout the meal, Barnes kept shooting curious looks in Loki's direction. Loki tried to ignore him, but he supposed he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been looking at Barnes too.</p>
<hr/><p>Barnes was generally up earlier than Loki, gone to somewhere else by the time Loki rose in the mid-morning. He was always quiet, never once disturbing Loki's sleep. Loki had never paid any mind to where he went during the day. They could go most of the day without seeing each other, until dinner.</p><p>When Loki walked into the sitting room, wearing only his nightshirt and dressing gown, he was surprised to see Barnes' journal sitting on the table. The capped pen sat next to it at an angle. He must have been scribbling in it before he left and forgot to put it away.</p><p>Despite knowing exactly where it was, Loki hadn't thought about it since he saw Barnes stow it away in the drawer. Seeing it sitting there, he was suddenly overwhelmingly curious about what the contents could be.</p><p>Loki sank into the chair and began flipping through the pages. The text was unlike anything he's seen before, not written in English, as he'd expected, but after a few seconds, the Allspeak began to translate the words as he read them.</p><p>The journal was an utter disappointment. It was made up mostly of random statistics from his training, a few kind anecdotes about Thor and the other Warriors, and notes about general Asgardian decorum that he noted so he wouldn't forget.</p><p>It was a theme Loki noticed. Barnes seemed absolutely convinced that he would forget any scrap of information, words like "REMEMBER" or "DON'T FORGET" in large lettering before even the most benign thing. There was even a note reminding himself to refer to Frigga by name, which he had done with regularity with each passing day. Loki wasn't sure the last time he'd heard Barnes utter the word "ma'm".</p><p>Then, Loki saw his name, more pages in than he would have liked, and began to read with more fervor.</p><p>
  <i>Loki remains a mystery. I don't know what to say to him, and everything I do say is met with one word answers. All my hope that we could at least be friends gets smaller every day. Maybe it doesn't matter. It's only an arrangement. It's not even a marriage.</i>
</p><p>None of the entries were dated, but Loki could only assume this was from weeks ago. They'd had several conversations as they walked to dinner together. Friendship was a concept Loki had given up on long ago. No one wanted to be friends with him. Those bridges had been incinerated. </p><p>He flipped through the pages looking for his name, when the door opened. Loki looked up, expecting a servant, only to find Barnes walking into the room. They never crossed paths in their room before dinner.</p><p>"It was sitting out," Loki said before Barnes could ask him what he was doing.</p><p>"I... it's fine," Barnes said, though he'd gone a bit pale when he saw the book in Loki's hands. "It's not private, you can read it."</p><p>Not private? Who in all the stars had a not private journal? </p><p>"You should be more careful with your things," Loki said, sniffing. "Don't leave them lying around."</p><p>"I won't." Barnes hadn't moved, except a slight flex from his metal hand.</p><p>"What are you doing here? You're never here during the day." Loki set the journal back onto the table, giving Barnes the room to take if he wanted. Having permission suddenly made the book less interesting. He knew where it was the rest of the time if he changed his mind.</p><p>"They're doing class for the kids today, so I thought I'd, well..." Barnes gestured toward the journal. "I don't know what your schedule is."</p><p>Loki sat back in his seat. "I have no schedule. I move through this building like a ghost. I cannot leave, I can only roam the halls to the terror of the staff and the annoyance of everyone else. No one cares what I do as long as I behave, and there is nothing to do besides that."</p><p>Barnes finally moved further into the room, his gait wide and excited. He stopped just short of walking right into Loki's space. "Let's do something. You have to know everything about this place. Every secret room and hidden gem. I can walk to this room, to the dining room and to the training yard. Show me around. Show me where you grew up."</p><p>Always instinctually contrary, Loki very nearly shot him down. However, the thought of boasting his knowledge of the grounds was too good to pass up. "Let me dress."</p><p>Loki was horrified to realize that he'd spent the entire conversation with uncombed hair and not even a glamor to cover it up. He cleaned himself up and dressed for the day. When he returned to the sitting room, the journal had been cleared away.</p><p>"Where to first?" Barnes asked.</p><p>"Let's go outside," Loki said with a smile. "I'll show you something greater than the training yards."</p><p>The gardens were stunning in the bright sunshine as they walked the stone pathway that wound around the different beds and bushes. The garden had been designed to always have flowers blooming with each season. The roses filled the air with their sweet scent.</p><p>"This is..." Barnes craned his neck up to look at the tower. He pointed up, but he could have been gesturing to any of the windows above them. The sunlight glinted off his metal wrist. "That's our room."</p><p>"It is. It may come as a shock to you, but I wasn't one for the outdoors as a child. I much preferred to be reading or practicing my magic. Even when I was told to be more like Thor." Loki tried to wash the bitterness from his tongue. "However, I loved the gardens. My mother and I would spend hours out here. She taught me all of the medicinal and magical uses for each of the flowers. The stories behind them. The meaning for each one."</p><p>Barnes smiled. "I think that's the first time I've heard you call Frigga mother."</p><p>Had he? Loki shook his head. "It's complicated."</p><p>"I gathered that." Barnes turned his head to look at the flowers. He brushed his flesh fingertip over one of the soft yellow petals. He lifted his chin. "That's a hedge maze, right? That's what it looks like from the window."</p><p>"It is," Loki replied. "I mapped the entire thing when I was a child. Whenever Thor and his friends would play in there, they always got lost and needed me to rescue them and lead them out. They never learned it, but always went back in."</p><p>Barnes' eyes widened. "Show me?"</p><p>They were only a few steps into the maze when Barnes stopped.</p><p>"Wait. I want to go in first. I've never been in a hedge maze before. I think I want to get lost before I learn the way. Isn't that part of the fun?"</p><p>"If that's your version of fun, go ahead." Loki had always preferred having his chance to be a hero. He enjoyed having the answers and being right. Getting lost never served him.</p><p>Barnes winked at him and then rushed around a random turn. "Meet you in the middle!"</p><p>Loki walked in after him, slower. Knowing his way, he easily made his way to the center courtyard. Occasionally, he had heard Barnes nearby, his footfalls loud as he clearly made rash decisions about which turn to take. There was a childlike enthusiasm about it that was oddly charming.</p><p>Loki sat down on a stone bench and waited, growing bored quickly. There was only so much entertainment in vine covered arbors and lilac bushes. He supposed this was fun for <i>Barnes</i>, but he wasn't left waiting. Loki closed his eyes and projected himself to the last place he had heard Barnes tromping about.</p><p>Barnes wasn't in that exact location anymore, but Loki phased right through the hedge walls where Barnes was, at least for the moment. Just as Loki phased through, Barnes was nearly around the next corner. He was <i>quick</i>.</p><p>"Are you suitably lost yet?"</p><p>Barnes jumped and spun around. "How did you get ahead of me? Or did I double back?"</p><p>Loki laughed. "You're nearing the back end of the maze. I'm already at the middle."</p><p>"Already at the..." Barnes stepped forward and reached out his hand to touch Loki's shoulder with the same tenderness he'd offered the rose. Of course, his hand went right through the illusion. Even so, Loki shuddered.</p><p>A grin spread across Barnes' face as he ran his hand right through the whole of the projection, the gold glittering and reformed back into Loki, bright in the dark shadows of the tall hedge. "That's amazing."</p><p>"I'm glad you're impressed," Loki said.</p><p>"I'm going to be even more impressed when you show me the way."</p><p>Loki smiled serenely. "Then follow me."</p><p>Barnes dutifully followed the illusion through the twists and turns until it dissipated as he came into the center courtyard where the real Loki sat.</p><p>"Was that fun?" Loki asked as Barnes approached him.</p><p>"It was." Barnes wrapped a hand around Loki's bicep, this time grasping flesh and bone. "It is actually you this time, right?"</p><p>Even though there was a layer of fabric between them, Loki could feel the warmth of Barnes' hand right through it. It was much better than the nothing the illusion had felt. Barnes gave him a squeeze, and then when he was satisfied, released him.</p><p>"Actually me."</p><p>Barnes sat down next to him on the bench, their thighs touching. "I've never seen anything like that before, and I've seen some shit. Other than a few hammer tricks from Thor, I hadn't seen any actual magic since I've been here."</p><p>Loki raised his eyebrows. "And it was more impressive than <i>hammer tricks?"</i></p><p>"I get that it's a magic hammer and that I can't lift it, but what you can do is... I guess it's what I think of when I think of magic, but better."</p><p>Loki was nearly lightheaded from the praise. It shouldn't have surprised him that a human would be so impressed by a little magic, but Barnes had been here a while now. He'd traveled by Bifrost, and he'd seen what Thor could do, and yet it was Loki's skills that had amazed him. Illusions tended to make people suspicious, not impressed. Especially someone who knew the great depths of what Loki was capable of.</p><p>"That is only the surface of what I am capable of," Loki said, because it had sounded good in his head.</p><p>Barnes grinned. "Can you show me more?"</p><p>They spent most of the afternoon in the courtyard, Loki having free reign to show off to a delighted audience. Barnes didn't have much to offer in return, though he did allow Loki to touch his metal arm, showing him the way the panels would move with him.</p><p>As they were walking out of the maze together, Loki glanced at Barnes' arm again. "You never mentioned how you came to possess such an arm."</p><p>Barnes grew quiet, though his expression didn't give away any coldness. Merely thoughtfulness. "I fought a war and I got captured. I was injured, dead, or all but. My arm was ruined, so they chopped it off and gave me this one."</p><p>"A fine prize from your captors," Loki said, confused. Why give your weakened prisoner an edge?</p><p>"It wasn't a prize. It was a tool. They knocked everything out of my head that was me and filled it with their objectives and missions. I wasn't me for a long time. I got out, but it hasn't stopped. They're still out there and they still want a return on their investment." Barnes sounded a little bitter, but mostly sad.</p><p>"And that's why you're here."</p><p>Barnes looked up at Loki and nodded. "Do you have any idea what it's like to remember things and know you did them, but know you didn't have any control over it? It was like seventy years of an out of body experience. I can see myself doing those things, but I know it wasn't me. Except it was."</p><p>Loki thought back to those days in New York that had put <i>him</i> here. He'd been of his own mind, of course, but there had been something rampantly out of control about the whole thing. In retrospect it seemed obvious that he would not prevail, though that might have been the actual failure clouding his vision.</p><p>He thought of the people he had controlled with the help of the scepter. He hadn't only controlled their actions, he pulled them inside out, taking whatever information was necessary to him. He'd ripped those people apart, the same way Barnes had been and until this moment, he hadn't felt the slightest bit of remorse for it. He wasn't sure what Barnes knew about New York, but he desperately hoped that Barnes hadn't heard about the mind control. Even with all his power, Loki couldn't do that now. It had been the stone's power, Loki had only wielded it.</p><p>"That sounds quite distressing," was all Loki said in response.</p><p>Barnes nodded. "Can you show me to the kitchen? I'm starving."</p><p>Loki smiled, the tension releasing from his shoulders. "Of course."</p>
<hr/><p>Barnes spent less time with the Warriors and more time with Loki. He was certain there were secret rooms, but Loki kept denying him access. They were secret for a reason.</p><p>Instead, they watched a meteor shower in the observatory with Frigga, and once Loki snuck Barnes into the vaults to show off Odin's spoils of war. He pointedly ignored the Tesseract, and Barnes was classy enough to do so as well. It was almost like his youth, when he ran around the castle with Thor.</p><p>It was friendship, Loki realized. He had a friend.</p><p>It was followed by an empty realization that as much as he desired the companion, he wanted something <i>else</i> from the arrangement.</p><p>On one of the days Barnes spent in training, Loki moped around the library, pulling books from the shelves and then putting them back after reading only a few pages. He couldn't focus. Then he heard the laughter from outside. The library was on the top floor, and while it had a spectacular view of the ground below, sound didn't usually carry that high. The library was meant to be quiet.</p><p>Loki followed the sound of laughter to the window. He opened it and poked his head out to a view of the training yard below. There were several warriors in training, but his eye was drawn to Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three who were standing with Barnes. He couldn't hear what they were saying, so he backed away from the window and projected himself on the ground nearby, invisible.</p><p>Barnes was holding a sword in his right hand, his face alight with a smile as he protested, "I don't know what to do with my other hand. If it were up to me..." He mimed smashing his metal elbow into an invisible face. "And then stab them."</p><p>"There's an artistry to swordplay," Sif said. "That is brute force."</p><p>"Not that there's anything wrong with a little force," Volstagg added with a hearty chuckle.</p><p>Barnes shrugged as he set his practice sword onto the rack. "I never learned to fight with artistry. It was... do what needed to get done, however you need to do it. And I certainly never used a sword."</p><p>"You use guns on Midgard, do you not?" Sif asked.</p><p>He nodded. "I used a lot of them. Though I really preferred using knives when I could." In a flash, Barnes had the dagger he kept secured to his belt in his hand, and tossed it in the air with a flourish. He caught it carefully by the blade and then flipped the hilt into his hand. "A lot more fun."</p><p>"Speaking of knives, I'm surprised Loki has not yet stabbed you in your sleep." Fandral sidled up next to Barnes and nudged him in the ribs with a bawdy grin. "Things must be going well, then?"</p><p>Loki bristled at the hint of being asked after as though he were a tavern wench. No matter how things had turned out, he <i>had</i> fought alongside these men and now he was nothing more than a token to be gossiped about during training. At least Thor had the good sense to look uncomfortable (and good sense was no one of his strong suits).</p><p>"I'm not one to kiss and tell," Barnes replied. He offered a tight-lipped smile of patience's edge. His fingers tightened around the hilt of his dagger. "He <i>is</i> my husband."</p><p>"Oh, come on now," Fandral said. "Forgive us for being curious. Loki's always been so tight-lipped about his conquests, we thought he might not have had any."</p><p>"<i>You</i> thought that," Sif said. "I tell you fools nothing and you don't think that of me. Loki is an easy target for your ire."</p><p>It was everything Loki could do to keep his temper under control. Sif's defense helped sooth it, but her comment made him wonder if he'd always been a target, or if it had only sprung up since his imprisonment. It was a thought long enough to prevent him from revealing himself before he heard Barnes speak again.</p><p>"If you have to know, I struggle to keep up with him. He..." Barnes trailed off, his gaze caught somewhere in the distance. A crooked smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. All five warriors leaned in, including Hogan, who usually had more decorum than the others on matters of these sorts, hanging on his silence. Barnes didn't seem to notice. "He opens up new parts of me every day. I crave his presence. His gaze brings me to my knees and his touch makes me lose my senses, every time. I had so many reservations when I came here, but all my fears are gone in that bed."</p><p>A silence fell over the courtyard, and even Loki felt his own jaw drop at the words. Barnes had not only seamlessly lied to them, but they were enraptured by his words in a way Loki had never quite managed of his friends (former friends), and he was the one meant to be silver tongued. </p><p>Finally, Thor laughed, breaking the spell Barnes had spun around them. "You're a poet!"</p><p>"With quite the muse," Fandral said, chastened.</p><p>Barnes' cheeks went pink. He seemed to finally notice his fist clenched around the dagger and put it back into its sheath. "I guess so. Who's ready to go another round?"</p><p>With the conversation shifting back to swordplay, Loki.pulled his projection away. He sat on the floor of the library, unsure of what to do next.</p><p>Why would Barnes lie? Did he not want his new friends to think he was incapable of managing to bed his own husband? Then why speak so highly of Loki's effect on him if that were the case? He had no reason to make anyone but himself look good.</p><p>Loki gathered up his books and went back to his suite. He curled up in the oversized armchair and flipped through the pages, not quite reading anything on them. It was nearly impossible to get his mind off of Barnes' words. He had sounded so passionate. His performance had been spectacular. Loki himself might not have been able to sound so passionate. He certainly would not have captured the attention of the warriors.</p><p>Was that the worst of it? Barnes had the attention of those who had once been Loki's friends more than Loki ever had. And why should he not? He had more in common with them. He was a warrior in his own right, no matter how much he denied it. He was happy to be taught about swords and be successful at it when Loki had always grown bored of the drills and routine.</p><p>They liked him more because he was as empty headed as they were. It was the only answer. Of course he would fit in when he was just like them. Somehow, this thought didn't give Loki the peace he had hoped it would.</p><p>The sun had moved, filling the room with warm, orange light when the door opened and Barnes walked in. His linen shirt was splotchy with sweat and his hair was clumpy and shiny, pushed back away from his face.</p><p>He looked around the room until he spotted Loki in the corner of the room. "Hey."</p><p>"Hello." Loki deliberately turned a page in the book he actually wasn't reading. "How did you fare against the warriors today?"</p><p>"They kicked my ass," Barnes replied, grinning as though being bested was a good thing. He pulled his shirt up over his head and let it hang from his metal hand. He lingered for a moment, half-dressed. "I'm going to take a bath before dinner."</p><p>"You do smell," Loki said, though from where he was sitting, this was not entirely a bad thing. Barnes was emitting the earthy, heady scent of physical exertion, but it was strangely pleasant. If not for dinner, Loki might have dissuaded him from the bath. He wouldn't mind the smell of sweat on their bedsheets.</p><p>Barnes disappeared through the bedroom, and a few moments later, Loki heard the sound of running water. It was easy to imagine him stripping out of his trousers and testing the temperature of the water with his hand.</p><p>Loki closed the book with a satisfying thump. What was he supposed to do now? Ignore Barnes forever? Pretend he'd never heard Barnes' lies? He should have been impressed that Thor and the Warriors had been fooled so easily, but seeing Barnes' smiling face only soured him. </p><p>He set the book inside and moved through the suite. The washroom door had been left open a crack, the lantern light flickering in a line across the floor. He wavered for a moment and then burst into the room.</p><p>"Why did you lie?"</p><p>Barnes was naked, sitting at the edge of the basin, waiting for it to fill. He looked up at Loki, startled. "Excuse me?"</p><p>"I overheard you talking to Thor and the others about -- about--" The word choked in Loki's throat. It was impossible to say the words when Barnes was sitting there completely unclothed. Loki's gaze kept being drawn to Barnes' soft cock before pulling his eyes back to his face. "You told them we had been abed. Why would you lie to them?"</p><p>The lines in Barnes' face relaxed. "You heard that, did you?"</p><p>"The library overlooks the training yard. The window was open." Loki decided not to mention that he had gotten closer. He still wasn't entirely sure the leash he was on, and how much Barnes reported back to Thor about him.</p><p>Barnes shrugged. "I didn't lie. They heard what they wanted to hear. What good would a more detailed version have been? It would have made you look bad, and it wasn't what they were interested in hearing."</p><p>Loki blinked. "What do you mean you didn't lie?"</p><p>"I never told them that we fucked. They jumped to that conclusion -- so did you." Barnes met Loki's gaze with a quiet confidence. "I meant every word I said."</p><p>Loki's mouth went agape. "Those things you said... you feel... why didn't you say anything?"</p><p>Barnes swallowed hard. "This marriage is the only thing keeping you out of a prison cell." It sounded like he had more to say, but silence fell between them.</p><p>"And this marriage is the only thing keeping you safe in Asgard," Loki said when Barnes said nothing more. "There are stakes for both of us."</p><p>"But only one of us wants what I want, and I can't, in good conscience, use any part of our arrangement to my advantage."</p><p>Loki stepped forward until his toes bumped up against the side of the basin. He was as close to Barnes as he could be without actually touching Barnes, but nearly tipping into the basin itself. He stayed steady as Barnes' eyes widened "Do not tell me what I do or do not want. Are you so truly dense that no part of this conversation has led you to the conclusion in my utmost desire for your words to be in truth?"</p><p>Barnes' mouth opened slowly and quite stupidly. "But you... why didn't you say anything?" He stopped and then he laughed. "For the same reason I didn't say anything. Neither one of us wanted to take advantage of the situation."</p><p>That certainly sounded better than Loki's fear of being rejected by the man he was sharing a bed with, so he nodded. "We've both been fools, Barnes." He tucked his forefinger behind the hinge of Barnes' jaw, thumb brushing against his soft lower lip. "Does this make you lose your sense?"</p><p>Barnes laughed. "You really weren't supposed to hear that."</p><p>"I'm grateful that I did." Loki slid his hand to the side of Barnes' face and kissed him.</p><p>Barnes returned the kiss desperately, his longing evident from the touch of his lips. He wrapped his arms around Loki's waist, pulling him close. Loki lost himself in the kiss until he felt the rise of Barnes' erection against his thigh. </p><p>Loki broke off the kiss, but kept his face close. "We should take this into the other room."</p><p>"We're going to be late for dinner if we do that," Barnes said. His lips were surprisingly red for one kiss. Where else might he get so red? Loki shivered at the thought.</p><p>"Fuck dinner." Loki kissed Barnes again, short and fiercely. "I'd like to see you on your knees."</p><p>Barnes nodded, and allowed himself to be led into the bedroom. They only stopped when they noticed no one had turned off the tap and the washroom had flooded.</p>
<hr/><p>Things were different. Barnes wasn't always gone when Loki woke, though he was awake, waiting for Loki to rise so they could be together. Loki wasn't sure anyone had ever waited for him, simply for the pleasure of his company. It was one of Barnes' more endearing qualities.</p><p>Loki finally showed him some of the secret passages around the palace, not only so they could have new locations for kissing and reaching inside each other's trousers. Barnes was always so truly impressed by Loki's knowledge, Loki wanted to teach him new things forever.</p><p>Even on the days when Barnes did go to train, they always met up in the evening to walk to dinner together. It had become something of a ritual, even before, and it seemed important to maintain.</p><p>"I don't know how you would use a stick with a pointy ball on it," Barnes said.</p><p>"It's a weapon I thought you would appreciate. Brute force. You hit people with it and they bleed." Loki grinned and took Barnes' hand as they walked. "Isn't that how you prefer to fight?"</p><p>He laughed and squeezed Loki's hand. "Not exactly. I'm getting better with the sword."</p><p>"Perhaps you'd prefer a crossbow."</p><p>You really hate seeing me with a sword, don't you?"</p><p>Loki had hung around the training yard a few times to watch Barnes in action, though he mostly received snide remarks from the Warriors. Barnes and even Thor would tell them to stop, but there was something about mistrust and betrayal they couldn't quite get past. He didn't hate seeing Barnes with the sword, quite the opposite. He didn't like what the sword could mean.</p><p>"Swordsmen go into battle on the front lines. You are a fragile human. You should at least have something with multiple points on it," Loki said. "You use a mace to fight one-on-one and you would succeed at that."</p><p>"Oh, you're worried," Barnes said.</p><p>"Preposterous."</p><p>Barnes started to say something, but as they walked into the dining hall, they both stopped. Odin sat at one end of the table. Frigga stood near him with a letter in her hand.</p><p>"Your brother has gone back to Midgard," she said.</p><p>"If there's been some disturbance on Earth, you know that it wasn't my doing," Loki said. "I've been here the whole time, Barnes can attest to that."</p><p>"There is no disturbance." Odin studied Loki gravely. "He went back for that Foster woman. Who knows when he will return. It seems he was moved by romantic notions of <i>your</i> human relationship."</p><p>Barnes promptly dropped Loki's hand.</p><p>Loki took his new range of movement to storm closer to Odin. "And this is my fault? You're the one who arranged my marriage. You're the one who gave me a human relationship. Was I not supposed to <i>like</i> him? Or at least not inspire Thor to follow his own interests. He would have done it anyway, this has only hastened his exit."</p><p>"It's no one's fault, darling," Frigga said softly. "And of course we're happy for you."</p><p>Odin said nothing.</p><p>It was no surprise, really. He got the last thing he wanted: trapped with Loki, while Thor chased his Midgardian dreams.</p><p>"Tell the staff we'll take dinner in our room. I'd hate to remind anyone of my failure to be unhappy." Loki marched toward the door, grabbing Barnes by the arm as he did. "Come on."</p><p>In the room, even with dinner spread across the table, Loki couldn't eat. He was far too angry with Odin for blaming him for Thor's choices. He paced the room while Barnes picked at his plate.</p><p>"Is there anything I can do to help?" Barnes asked.</p><p>"No." Loki went to the table and poured himself a glass of wine. He was too aggressive and some splashed right over one side of the goblet. "Fuck!"</p><p>Barnes cleaned up the spilled wine with his napkin while Loki drank the wine that remained in the goblet just as aggressively, some of it spilling down the side of his mouth. Barnes looked tempted to clean that too, but refrained.</p><p>"It's not a wonder I never bothered doing anything right. Anything I do, right or wrong is shadowed by whatever it is Thor does. Even Thor's shortcomings are blamed on me." Loki wiped his chin with his hand. "And who will you have to report to from now on?"</p><p>Barnes started. "What?"</p><p>"You're meant to keep an eye on me, are you not? Look out for any suspicious behaviors. Or are you reporting to Odin himself? Wasn't that part of your arrangement? To make sure I don't toe the line?" Loki slammed the goblet onto the table. There wasn't any wine left in it to spill, but every part of Loki felt like it might burst. He hadn't felt quite this mad since New York. "Tell me!"</p><p>There was a long, ringing silence as Barnes stared at him. Then he stood, laying his napkin over his plate. He looked Loki in the face. "I never reported anything to anyone. No one ever asked me to, and if they had, I would have said no. I knew I was coming here to most likely spend the rest of my life. I wasn't going to start it on a lie."</p><p>Though he and Barnes were roughly the same height, Loki suddenly felt very small.</p><p>"If you want people to not expect the worst from you, Loki, you have to not expect the worst from them. Enjoy the rest of your dinner." Barnes turned and he went into the bedroom. The door shut with a very final click.</p><p>Loki sank into the chair Barnes had just vacated. He could go after him, but he was grateful Barnes had chosen the next room instead of a room in another tower. But perhaps he could use the space, so Loki sat and half heartedly ate his feelings.</p><p>When Loki finally crept into the bedroom hours later, it was dark. He dressed for bed and crawled in next to Barnes. The lack of the light snore he'd become so accustomed to told him Barnes was still awake, so he wrapped himself around the back of him, their bodies flush together. Barnes leaned back against him in the smallest acknowledgement.</p><p>I've never apologized to anyone," Loki said quietly. "No matter who was slighted, my actions have always felt justified. I could talk my way into believing I was right. It's not in my nature to admit fault."</p><p>Barnes' silence was clearly unimpressed.</p><p>"I don't wish to hurt you, but I will. Constantly. All the time. So perhaps it's time to learn a new skill." Loki paused hoping that his very good intentions would get him off the hook, but Barnes continued to be silent. "I... I apologize. It's difficult for me to take words at face value. But you've never offered me anything less than that."</p><p>Finally, Barnes reached up, and wrapped his arm over his chest and Loki's arm, holding him close. "Thank you."</p><p>Loki wasn't sure how long they held each other like that. He fell asleep tangled in Barnes' limbs.</p>
<hr/><p>It was quieter without Thor around, as much as Loki had tried to avoid him. He was still a presence. Loki wondered if people thought this of him when he was gone. Most likely not.</p><p>Things had also changed again. Odin was always at dinner, so Loki opted out for more dinners in the suite. It was easier this way. The meals in the dining hall were quiet and awkward for everyone. Barnes did what he did, so he had support there.</p><p>"Are you still training with Thor gone?" Loki asked one day while he and Bucky sat in the solarium. He was stretched out across the chaise with his feet in Barnes' lap.</p><p>Barnes nodded. "Nothing has changed."</p><p>"I hate to think of you going off to war for Asgard."</p><p>"That's still not going to happen for a long time, if ever. I'd sure feel a lot more comfortable with a semi-automatic and a few hundred rounds, though."</p><p>Loki was sure that if he <i>really</i> wanted some guns, that could be accommodated, but he let Barnes' nostalgia lead. "Do you miss Midgard?"</p><p>Barnes let his metal hand rest against the sole of one of Loki's bare feet. It was cold, but firm when Loki curled his arch against it. "I miss the people. It was nice while it lasted in Wakanda. I miss Steve sometimes. For all that we couldn't stay apart when we were kids, we couldn't seem to stay together as adults."</p><p>Loki perked up slightly, a nasty twisting in his stomach. "Were you lovers?"</p><p>"No!" Barnes barked a laugh. "We were like brothers. He always had my back, even when I didn't know it. He saved my life. If he thought it would have done him any good, I know he would have leapt off that train after me to save it again."</p><p>"If it were safe for you to return, would you?"</p><p>"Yeah, of course." He saw the look of dejection on Loki's face and laughed again. "For a <i>visit</i>. I'm here now, for as long as you'll have me."</p><p>Loki smiled, satisfied. "Good. Very good."</p><p>Barnes grinned. "Yeah, I thought you'd like that."</p>
<hr/><p>On most days Barnes still left early without a word to Loki, allowing him to sleep as late as he wanted. This was not one of those mornings. Loki woke to a room that was barely lit, the sun not even up yet, and Barnes' lips on his neck. He could feel the hardness of Barnes' erection pressing into his back.</p><p>"Oh, you're up," Barnes murmured, as if he hadn't been the cause of it.</p><p>"It's far too early for this amorous nonsense," Loki said. He couldn't deny that he liked the feeling of being so desirable that Barnes couldn't help himself. Vanity woke him every time.</p><p>Barnes' warm hand found the hem of Loki's nightshirt and slid his hand up the inside of his bare thigh. Loki shivered, and Barnes chuckled warmly. "I guess I'll have to leave you alone, then."</p><p>Loki groaned. His skin was tingling, but his foggy brain hadn't quite followed yet. "How do you manage to be awake at this ghastly hour?"</p><p>"Perseverance," Barnes replied, his lips still on Loki's neck. He caressed Loki's thigh in a soft circle. "But I'll let you sleep if that's what you really want."</p><p>"Don't you dare." Loki twisted around and caught Barnes' mouth with his own. He was still barely awake, but his body was alight with electricity, cock stiffening under Barnes' touch. "Inside me. If you're going to insist on this so early, you'll have to do the work."</p><p>"Yes, husband."</p><p>Loki rolled onto his back and pulled the front of his nightshirt up over his stomach as Barnes moved the blankets off of them both and positioned himself between Loki's legs. The pink light that filled the room gave his face a rosy glow as he gazed at Loki's body with pure want. He leaned down and pressed his mouth to the plane of Loki's stomach.</p><p>"Stop that. If you're going to fuck me, do it."</p><p>"No foreplay before dawn, good to know." Barnes kissed his stomach again before sitting up to grab oil from the bedside table. He used a bit of oil on his cock before he grasped Loki around the hips and hoisted him up to access his backside.</p><p>Loki would never admit how much he enjoyed being manhandled by Barnes. Perhaps it was some Aesir taste he'd picked up, but he loved how much bigger and stronger Barnes was. He moaned when Barnes smeared oil around his hole, one thick finger breeching him momentarily, before being replaced with the impressive girth of Barnes' cock. </p><p>Barnes pulled Loki closer, fully sheathing himself inside. He tilted his head back as he fucked Loki with short thrusts. This was not the knee-quivering, languorous love making of an evening. It was fast and hard, and exactly what Loki didn't know he had even wanted until it was over.</p><p>Loki came with Barnes' metal hand wrapped cold around his cock, making a mess of his clothes and his stomach. He felt used and empty and <i>satisfied</i> after Barnes pulled out of him, and dropped back onto the bed.</p><p>Barnes took Loki's hand and kissed the back of it. "See? Getting up early isn't so bad."</p><p>Loki was sticky and sweaty, but now that Barnes mentioned it, there wasn't a better way he could imagine to start the day. In fact, he could imagine spending the whole day in bed. They could call for food when they got hungry.</p><p>Barnes rested his cold metal hand on Loki's chest as he leaned in and kissed Loki's neck again. "I gotta do training today."</p><p>"No," Loki replied, wrapping his hand around Barnes' wrist, as if it would hold him there. It wouldn't take anything for Barnes to flick him away, but he allowed Loki to keep him close. "I want to have you all day now. You started this."</p><p>"I know and it's a nice idea, but since we've been... I've been skipping most days. I've hardly seen the Warriors and I think they may have noticed. Besides, I don't want to lose my form."</p><p>Loki had seen Barnes on the training yard, and while Loki didn't have much room to talk since he'd never been skilled with a sword, there wasn't much form to lose. However, commenting on it wasn't in Loki's best interest.</p><p>"I'm helping in your training as well," Loki said instead, moving his hand from Barnes' wrist and into his hair. He pulled on it, just rough enough so Barnes would <i>really</i> feel it. "Working on your stamina."</p><p>Barnes groaned and kissed Loki hungrily, as though he didn't actually want to get up. Though when he broke off the kiss, he pulled away and swung his feet out of the bed. "Tonight," he said.</p><p>"Fine." Loki rolled his eyes, even if Barnes couldn't see. "What would you have me do all day?"</p><p>"I don't know. Take a walk?"</p><p>"You're insufferable, Barnes." </p><p>He looked over his shoulder at Loki. "You can call me Bucky, you know."</p><p>Loki blinked a couple of times. He hadn't expected that response, as it came out of nowhere. "Why in all the stars would I do that?"</p><p>"Everyone else does."</p><p>"Precisely."</p><p>It took a moment, but Barnes smiled before he set off for the washroom.</p><p>Despite all of his grumbling, after Barnes left, Loki took his advice and after he cleaned up, he went to the gardens for an early morning walk. He glanced up at the window to his room, imagining himself still in bed with Barnes. There wasn't any reason to fantasize. He would have the real thing soon enough. Maybe anticipation had its appeal.</p><p>The roses were still wet with dew, glistening in the sunlight. Everything seemed to sparkle. No, Loki realized. The world had actually taken on a rose colored hue, causing the roses to glitter in his mind's eye.</p><p>It's foolish, he thought. The pure notion of his feelings for Barnes changing his outlook this much. Then again, how long had it been since he thought about escape? Or even the thought of leaving the palace grounds? Why would he want to when everything he wanted was right here?</p><p>Foolish, he thought again.</p><p>He hadn't intended to go into the hedge maze, but as he wandered, he found himself inside. The sun was still so low in the morning that the hedge was mostly made up of shadow, leaving him cold, but he persisted until he reached the middle. </p><p>He stopped in his tracks when he saw that he wasn't alone. Odin sat upon the centermost bench. He wasn't looking at Loki, his gaze was set on the flowers, lost in thought.</p><p>Had he thought of it sooner, Loki could have turned invisible and been on his way, but his surprise got the better of him.</p><p>"Oh. I... I'll not keep you," Loki said awkwardly, and tried to walk in as far of an arc as he could away from Odin.</p><p>Odin gave him a steady look. "Come, Loki. Sit."</p><p>Loki stopped, but didn't move any closer. "I'd rather not."</p><p>"Then stand near me. I've been wanting to speak with you, and you seem to avoid me."</p><p>"I wonder why that would be," Loki sniped, but he took slow steps toward Odin until he was standing only a few strides away from him. This close, Odin looked tired, the lines on his face deeper than they had been the last time Loki had truly looked at him. Somewhere, Odin had become distressingly <i>old</i>. He wasn't going to fall for an old man's vulnerabilities. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"</p><p>Odin smiled faintly. "Only that I worry of your recent shift in mood, Loki. You've seemed happier as of late. The influence of your husband, I'm sure."</p><p>"Ah, yes. And my happiness is not a suitable punishment for my crimes, is it? What will you do? Take him from me and wed him to Thor, whenever he graces us with his presence, or some lady of the court?  Throw me back into my cell and have me all the more miserable for losing my taste of brief joy?" </p><p>Loki knew he was being dramatic, but his stomach twisted at the thought. He considered all the ways Barnes got on with Thor and the warriors. It could be so easy to imagine Barnes bedding any one of them, forgetting his <i>first</i> husband, while Loki rotted away in his lonely prison.</p><p>He realized, a beat later, that he had admitted to his own happiness on a plan of Odin's making. He had been far too transparent, but it was too late to take any of it back now. It didn't matter, if Odin was only going to use Loki's satisfaction against him. The old man was clever.</p><p>Odin's smile had faded. "It weighs heavy to know both of my sons have given their hearts to fragile Midgardians. I tried to dissuade Thor of this misguided passion, but it only made him fall harder. I had foolishly assumed that you were too far gone to feel such things. It was why I agreed to the marriage at all. I both loathe and love to have been wrong about this."</p><p>Loki felt a lump form in his throat, and he wasn't sure why. "You were the one who wanted me to believe that they were not so unlike us."</p><p>"And yet, he will bring you nothing but sorrow, the more you love him. The similarities between us and them will not change the fact that he will die long before you will."</p><p>Somehow, this had escaped Loki's mind completely. It was the thing that made him feel superior over the Midgardians. He was a great god who would live beyond all of them, and yet had forgotten it when Barnes came into his life.</p><p>"He's lived much longer than most of them," Loki said, unable to quite shake the waver in his voice. "Who knows how much longer he could go on for."</p><p>"Not a thousand years longer."</p><p>"Then what do you expect me to do with this? Give him up now for fear of losing him later? Why point out that the only thing that has contented me in my entire life will be soon taken away?" Despite himself, Loki sat down next to Odin with a thump, his backside hitting hard against the stone. "Is it all so hopeless?"</p><p>"No. Not at all, my son." Odin moved like he might touch Loki's shoulder, but thought better of it. "Your love gives me hope for the future. And for the future of Asgard."</p><p>Loki worked his jaw as he considered Odin for a moment. He could leave, avoid Odin as he had, but they may be thrown together again, fate willing it so. He could succumb to fate. "I'm going to sit here in silent contemplation. You may join me."</p><p>Odin nodded. "I will."</p><p>So they did.</p>
<hr/><p>When Loki returned to his room later that afternoon, he was surprised to see Barnes sitting on the settee, writing in his journal. He had taken off his boots and socks, one bare foot pulled up onto the seat, the other dangling over the edge, barely scraping against the floor. He looked up when the door opened and smiled. It warmed Loki, and then it was followed by a chill as he recalled his conversation with Odin.</p><p>"Hey," Barnes said. His other foot dropped to the ground.</p><p>"Hello," Loki replied. "I thought you were training today. Wasn't that the most important thing this morning?"</p><p>Barnes chuckled. He tucked his pen behind his ear and closed the journal around his finger. "Since I haven't been around for a few days, I didn't know they were doing the in class training today. I worked out a little, but it was mostly a lot of kids who are better at everything than I am."</p><p>"Returning was a prudent choice." Loki fell onto the settee and rested his chin on Barnes' shoulder. "I spoke to Odin today."</p><p>"How did that go?"</p><p>Loki sighed. It was annoying how Odin only seemed concerned for his well being <i>now</i>, after a lifetime of being wholly unconcerned. In fact, the best part of the entire conversation was the silence that followed. "I suppose neither of us died."</p><p>"That's a good place to start." Barnes opened up his journal again. Loki glanced down at the page, and it appeared to simply be statistics of his training from that day. He looked away before Barnes could notice him peeking.</p><p>"Am I distracting you?" Loki wrapped his arm around Barnes' front to hold him in a hug.</p><p>"Mmm, not in a bad way," Barnes replied, though he sounded quite distracted. He turned his head toward Loki and kissed him on the forehead, then pulled his pen from behind his ear and went back to writing. </p><p>As much as it pained Loki to admit it, Odin was right. Barnes would age and wither long before Loki had even reached his prime. This would only be a small part of Loki's existence, but this was Barnes' entire life.</p><p>Loki could make it wonderful if he so wanted. And he wanted to, so badly. He had so much time for universal domination, but only a short amount of time to spend with Barnes. It was decided, then. Live here in contentment for as long as possible and then drown his eventual sorrow in ruin. No one would suspect this attack. It was a perfect plan, no foolery involved.</p><p>"You've nearly finished that book," Loki said, reaching down to finger the thin end of the book. There were, at maximum, three pages remaining.</p><p>"I've had more to think about lately," Barnes replied, still scratching his pen against the page.</p><p>Loki ran his fingers up the length of Barnes' arm. "I will get you another one. So you never run out of thoughts."</p><p>Barnes stopped writing and looked to Loki again. "Thank you. That'd be nice."</p><p>"But you must tell me what you've written about me."</p><p>"I told you, you can read it anytime you want."</p><p>Loki draped his leg over Barnes' thigh, closing any gap that could be between them. "I'd prefer it if you read it to me."</p><p>"All right." Barnes flipped forward in the journal and began to read.</p>
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